Walking by

25Oct07

Sitting at my office desk and looking at life outside, I ponder my past and the people I’ve met.  I wonder where they are and what they may be doing right now.   Maybe it sounds foolish, but it’s a way I’ve found to reassure myself about my choices.  The way the afternoon sun bathes the large chunks of concrete ahead of me, partially obscuring my view of the quiet 15:00 of a Thursday, hypnotises me without fail…

This exercise takes me back and forward in time, giving me the pleasure of comparing then and now.  I find myself back as a promising 15 years old, rushing semi-nude through the beaches of the south… The old surf board used to give away my excitement to reach the water… A dirty and brown water, marked by oil slicks from the large port close by…  As a teenager, I didn’t care.  Everything was perfect: the warm sun of the tropics, the air in my long hair,  the hot sand under my feet… a delightful torture until the shore is reached…  the salty taste of water, the first dive…  The waves against me…  a boy challenging the sea.

Now, back to my office.  I wonder if the boy would be satisfied with his future as me, here, right now… realising it’s hard to answer, my mind skips away to other memories until I find complete satisfaction with my today.

The sun again… The traffic… The fire truck…

Back to my dreams, I think of my first leather soccer ball… The morning of Christmas with my family all around… My first puppy…  Gosh, I wish I could do my schooling over again… from kindergarten onwards… I would enjoy every second of it… crayons, G.I Joe, Lego blocks… getting home after school and enjoying a cold cup of milky chocolate…  On television, afternoon movies with John Wayne and other dead icons, waiting for my father to arrive home…  The settled evening until I had to take a shower and prepare for bed.

The sun again… This time reflecting light off a silver bus directly into my eyes… a reminder of reality.  

Back here, I can see throughout my office different faces and ages… people with tales and dreams.   I look at them and think what they would have looked like as children… Suddenly, my childhood is not far away at all… and in 30 years time, I may be thinking of today.

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